approval

 I write these things today to know them more deeply myself. I will share.

"Often, people who perform really well are some of the loneliest people in the world. The better your performance is, the less people actually meet you. They come and tell you, "what a wonderful performance! Thank you." But as a performer, you feel very lonely and you can get quite desperate for a relationship. So I thought......

Why would I want people to like me and approve of me anyway? Well, with enough approval, I might be convinced to like and approve of myself. If enough people like me, then maybe it will convince me  that I am likable.

So I am suggesting today that you will never get enough evidence of other people's approval to persuade you to love yourself. You'll never be able to succeed at liking yourself by getting others to approve your behaviors and decisions. At some point, you know you are doing it for others, and then you resent them for making you do all these things to get their approval----while all too often they seem to be withholding their approval!

How much are you going to be able to like yourself for abandoning yourself to that scheme?"

It never works, does it? Abandoning yourself to gain recognition. Has it been working lately? You go through life putting on your best performance, yet something doesn't work. People may still not be happy with you. You are not the way you are supposed to be.

If you got all that approval. What would it be good for? Who cares? How will you get out of the worrying about the audience approval?

You think, I could love myself if I got enough approval. And when will that be? Maybe you could just go ahead and love someone who doesn't quite measure up---the person you are---who doesn't quite measure up. Maybe you could go ahead and have a kind feeling, a tender hearted feeling for this poor miserable person who still does not measure up, still hasn't gone anywhere, still isn't calm, patient, tolerant, blissful, buoyant, cheerful and kind. 

Beyond your performance, who are you? Maybe you can find a tender, vulnerable, good hearted person---also boundless and vast----who is ready to see and be seen; someone who is smiling and welcoming the world into their hearts".

The Most Important Point by Ed Brown