I went down to my favourite beach last night to watch the end of the day dip below the distant hills. It is my habit to stand on the last piece of rock that the rising tide has not swallowed. From this small perch, I stare into the clear lively water, and observe my urge to jump in and become one with the ancient sea. I love the sound of the beach.....the lapping water, the screaming sea birds and the groans of the complaining seals who live on the rocks just out of reach.
I was distracted from my meditation, by a human voice calling out. I looked to the shore and a woman was walking towards me. I made the jump back to land and greeted her. We spent the rest of the evening sharing stories and watching a baby seal play in the water. We discovered that we had quite a bit in common. She also had the urge to jump in and become one with the water and satisfies this urge by doing lengthy swims to raise money to used for the protection of the world's oceans.
Later in the evening, she sent me her website.......www.costaricamermaid.net ......where she updates on her swims and requests sponsorships. I found a poem on her site that I wish to share with you....I thought it was so beautiful. But then I love water metaphors.
There is a river flowing now very fast,
It is so great and swift, that there are those
Who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel they are being torn apart and will
Suffer greatly.
Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we mush let go of the shore, push
Off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes
Open, and our heads about the water.
And I say, see who is in there with you and
Celebrate.
At this time in history, we are to take nothing
personal. Least of all ourselves.
For the moment that we do our spiritual
Growth a journey comes to a halt.
The time of the lone wolf is over.
Gather yourselves!
Banish the word "struggle" from you attitude
And your vocabulary.
All what we do now must be done in a sacred
Manner and in celebration.
WE ARE THE ONES WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.
Oraibi, Arizona Hopi Nation
Monday, October 11, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Always choose kindness over rightness......
My meditation teacher is a humble monk and never pontificates. His only intention is to encourage us to meditate everyday. However, one Sunday, he asked us to "choose kindness over rightness". There was a sureness in his voice that made me pay attention. I knew that I would put some extra thought into this subject and see what a change in this behavior might mean for my life. I began to practice. Initially, what I noticed were my urges to contribute the "right" information into a conversation. Even in small inconsequential conversations with people that I didn't even really know. I was shocked at how strong this urge was and how much focus was required to not speak. My next awareness was the realization that this intention to "give up being right", required that I listen to others, quite frankly in a way that I was not used to doing. This brought on a brand new perspective of reality. I was no longer the starring act with everyone else playing bit parts. I was making others the "starring act" and it felt like a wonderful gift that I was giving. I think this must be the "kindness" part , because kindness has always felt wonderful to me, and I was starting to feel wonderful. Less separate and more respected and respectful.
I have decided that Rightness belongs in court rooms. This is the place that is designed for the past to be dredged up as evidence.....mountains of evidence that "you are wrong".....mountains of evidence that "I am right". You have to notice that while the evidence is being presented in the court room that the "evidence giver" is the only one allowed to speak. The side that has been forbidden to speak, makes it clear that they are not listening to a word of the presented evidence. They roll their eyes and scribble on pieces of paper, in readiness to tell the other that they have not heard a word of what has been said. The courts have acknowledged that no one is listening and created a position in the court of "the listener"....the judge whose only job is to listen. This may work in the case of justice in the courts. But it certainly does not work in the realm of relationships. The flaws come from the very core of the system.
There is no listener. Both the participants want to star in the story and give the other, the bit part. Each is only participating in the the story of "me". The really crazy bit of this, is that the intention (usually only roughly drawn up) of these communications is usually for the two people to feel less separate and more united in this world. The fact of the matter is, that all the mental energy that gets generated in the desperate need to perpetuate "rightness", steals any hope of remaining in the present moment with the person you love. This good moment is rendered valueless. It would seem that we have used this person's past behavior to predict their future behavior. The opponent's ability to respond to a new moment has been stolen by the arrogant belief that we know how this person will respond in the future. And we have skillfully evaded the feelings that are unfolding in this present moment for ourselves.
In our quest for a comfortable, secure life, quite a bit of mental energy gets generated to escape from the reality of the present moment. If the strategy that you use to get away from the uncomfortable feelings in your body in this present moment, is to blame, than it seems obvious that we will need to control the behavior in the blamed person, so we will never have to confront this uncomfortable feeling again. If they would just change their behavior than I would not be forced to feel my feelings. The only route to not feel uncomfortable is to convince the other that there behavior is the culprit that has cause them to feel all these uncomfortable things. If we can give enough evidence to show them how flawed they are, then they will see the light and take care of our feelings for us.
It would seem that illusion may be grounded in the belief that life should not be uncomfortable. And if it is uncomfortable, there is a way to control life to avoid the uncomfortableness next time.
Life is pleasant. Life is unpleasant. Life is only in this one good moment. No need to look to the moment that has just passed. No need to look to the moment that has not happened yet. Life takes place only in this good moment. Look to this moment to give and receive the love that is always there. Stop........... breath into your heart and be here now....
I have decided that Rightness belongs in court rooms. This is the place that is designed for the past to be dredged up as evidence.....mountains of evidence that "you are wrong".....mountains of evidence that "I am right". You have to notice that while the evidence is being presented in the court room that the "evidence giver" is the only one allowed to speak. The side that has been forbidden to speak, makes it clear that they are not listening to a word of the presented evidence. They roll their eyes and scribble on pieces of paper, in readiness to tell the other that they have not heard a word of what has been said. The courts have acknowledged that no one is listening and created a position in the court of "the listener"....the judge whose only job is to listen. This may work in the case of justice in the courts. But it certainly does not work in the realm of relationships. The flaws come from the very core of the system.
There is no listener. Both the participants want to star in the story and give the other, the bit part. Each is only participating in the the story of "me". The really crazy bit of this, is that the intention (usually only roughly drawn up) of these communications is usually for the two people to feel less separate and more united in this world. The fact of the matter is, that all the mental energy that gets generated in the desperate need to perpetuate "rightness", steals any hope of remaining in the present moment with the person you love. This good moment is rendered valueless. It would seem that we have used this person's past behavior to predict their future behavior. The opponent's ability to respond to a new moment has been stolen by the arrogant belief that we know how this person will respond in the future. And we have skillfully evaded the feelings that are unfolding in this present moment for ourselves.
In our quest for a comfortable, secure life, quite a bit of mental energy gets generated to escape from the reality of the present moment. If the strategy that you use to get away from the uncomfortable feelings in your body in this present moment, is to blame, than it seems obvious that we will need to control the behavior in the blamed person, so we will never have to confront this uncomfortable feeling again. If they would just change their behavior than I would not be forced to feel my feelings. The only route to not feel uncomfortable is to convince the other that there behavior is the culprit that has cause them to feel all these uncomfortable things. If we can give enough evidence to show them how flawed they are, then they will see the light and take care of our feelings for us.
It would seem that illusion may be grounded in the belief that life should not be uncomfortable. And if it is uncomfortable, there is a way to control life to avoid the uncomfortableness next time.
Life is pleasant. Life is unpleasant. Life is only in this one good moment. No need to look to the moment that has just passed. No need to look to the moment that has not happened yet. Life takes place only in this good moment. Look to this moment to give and receive the love that is always there. Stop........... breath into your heart and be here now....
Monday, October 4, 2010
Say yes to letting our experience be as it is.....
When asking the Zen koan "what is this?", we realize that it cannot be answered by the thinking mind. The only answer comes from entering directly into the immediate, physical experience of the present moment.
"Right now, ask yourself, "What is this?". Even if you don't feel any distress, this question can apply to whatever the present moment holds. Become aware of your physical posture. Feel the overall quality of sensations in the body. Feel the tension in the face, particularly around the mouth. Include awareness of the environment--the temperature, the quality of light, the surrounding sounds. Feel the body breathing in and out as you take in this felt sense of the moment. Feel the energy in the body as you focus on the "whatness" of your experience. Only by doing this will you answer the question, "what is this?""
For example, if we feel anxiety, it's natural to want to avoid feeling it. We may take one of the three detours from reality--analyzing the situation, there by taking false comfort in figuring things out; blaming someone or something for our distress, so that we can avoid feeling it; or trying fix the situation, in order to take away our discomfort. We may not want to look at what is going on, or we may take refuge in the habitual illusions that bring us comfort. We may go looking for a flaw in ourselves in relation to what is happening. As conditioned beings, we inevitably follow one of our characteristic strategies of control when distress hits. We try harder, to cover our underlying fears; we seek approval, to avoid feeling unworthy; or escape or go numb, to take us away or divert us from the distress we don't want to feel.
As we stay with the question, "what is this?', we can gradually allow what seems so unpleasant to just be---and reside in the physical experience without attaching all of our emotions, thoughts and judgments. "This is not so easy to do, because our compulsion toward comfort drives us to want to fix or get rid of our unpleasant experiences. To allow our experience to just be, often requires that we first become disappointed by the futility of trying to fix ourselves and others. We have to realize that trying to change or let go of the feelings we don't want to feel, simply doesn't work. Staying with the "what is this?" quality of our experience, and allowing it to just be, basically requires a critical practice understanding; that is more painful to try to push away our own pain that it is to feel it. This understanding is not intellectual but something that eventually takes root in the core of our being".
Referenced by Zen Heart by Ezra Bayda
"Right now, ask yourself, "What is this?". Even if you don't feel any distress, this question can apply to whatever the present moment holds. Become aware of your physical posture. Feel the overall quality of sensations in the body. Feel the tension in the face, particularly around the mouth. Include awareness of the environment--the temperature, the quality of light, the surrounding sounds. Feel the body breathing in and out as you take in this felt sense of the moment. Feel the energy in the body as you focus on the "whatness" of your experience. Only by doing this will you answer the question, "what is this?""
For example, if we feel anxiety, it's natural to want to avoid feeling it. We may take one of the three detours from reality--analyzing the situation, there by taking false comfort in figuring things out; blaming someone or something for our distress, so that we can avoid feeling it; or trying fix the situation, in order to take away our discomfort. We may not want to look at what is going on, or we may take refuge in the habitual illusions that bring us comfort. We may go looking for a flaw in ourselves in relation to what is happening. As conditioned beings, we inevitably follow one of our characteristic strategies of control when distress hits. We try harder, to cover our underlying fears; we seek approval, to avoid feeling unworthy; or escape or go numb, to take us away or divert us from the distress we don't want to feel.
As we stay with the question, "what is this?', we can gradually allow what seems so unpleasant to just be---and reside in the physical experience without attaching all of our emotions, thoughts and judgments. "This is not so easy to do, because our compulsion toward comfort drives us to want to fix or get rid of our unpleasant experiences. To allow our experience to just be, often requires that we first become disappointed by the futility of trying to fix ourselves and others. We have to realize that trying to change or let go of the feelings we don't want to feel, simply doesn't work. Staying with the "what is this?" quality of our experience, and allowing it to just be, basically requires a critical practice understanding; that is more painful to try to push away our own pain that it is to feel it. This understanding is not intellectual but something that eventually takes root in the core of our being".
Referenced by Zen Heart by Ezra Bayda
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)