the faith to do nothing

This Christmas evening, I am looking for the full moon in every drop of water hanging from the branches of the ancient cedars in the forest in the back of the cabin. I am reminded how effortlessly this spectacle of light and cold water manifest.... quietly waiting for my attention. The image so miraculous and elusive that I am only able to look for a moment. I find myself having to return over and over again.......in the same way that I return to my breath to meet the present moments of my life.

It would seem that I am only able to stay present for this miracle of the moment with a constant effort of faith and attention.

Zen speaks of effort being no effort. 

If we could just "settle the self on the self and let the flower of our life force bloom". This quote is from a dharma talk given by Katagiri Sensei in the 60's, although I am sure that it was the theme of many of his teachings. In Zen, there is nothing to gain.We already have everything we need.

This is the faith that meditation cultivates in our life. This is the Zen way.

I am encouraged by the writings of a very experienced Zen teacher, Blanche Hartman in her new book....Seeds for a Boundless Life.

"How do we let the flower of this life force bloom if there is nothing to gain from Zen practice? If this is it, our life as it is, and there is nothing to get and we are complete as we are, where does effort come from if there is no goal? What's the purpose of effort, if there is no goal?

Her sweet and complete answer....... "It comes from the one who requires it."

"It is sort of like..... What is the effort that daffodils make in order to bloom? There they are, bulbs under the ground in the dark. They are doing something, something is happening there under the ground in the dark that results in the bloom that we see when we walk down the path.

 What kind of effort is it that we make to allow blooming to be completely itself and with which we meet the world and appreciate this opportunity to be who we are?

The work of the daffodil preparing to bloom is very quiet. It doesn't look outward to see if it's doing it right. It finds this bloom within itself somehow. It comes from the very nature of the bulb, this bloom that we see as beautiful. It's beautiful from the beginning, it's completely there. It just needs conditions around it to help it bloom. But really its all there, its all completely present right in front of you from the beginning.

This is our faith. In faith we can bloom fully in the most appropriate way. We practice this practice."

The daffodil image is one I needed on this dark winter day. I know that soon there will be daffodils to contemplate.........not that I am living in the future .....only this obsessive visiting...............using my effort to constantly return from my mental journeys ...... just this is enough. Right?

I seem to be the one who requires it.

love to you all this Christmas evening
Nx

Nothing to do.....

One of my favourites from the Tibetan mystic Milaripa.

For generosity, nothing to do,
Other than stop fixating on self.

For morality, nothing to do,
Other than stop being dishonest.

For patience, nothing to do,
Other than not fear what is ultimately true.

For effort, nothing to do,
Other than practice continuously.

For meditative stability, nothing to do,
Other than rest in presence.

For wisdom, nothing to do,
Other than know directly how things are.

Personal Expression

I read this wonderful passage on the value of personal expression in a book by Diane Musho; Everything is Workable: a Zen approach to conflict resolution. I found the book very supportive to human beings making the fearless leap to stand behind their own personal expression. 

"I want to express myself because if I don’t, I feel isolated afterwards; I feel disconnected, like I don’t belong. Our opinions are not only valuable but necessary for experiencing the fullness of our being. We are expressive creatures, designed to communicate in a variety of modes. Just as a wave is an energetic expression of the ocean and a flower is a glamorous expression of a plant, each of us has a particular qualities that are unique to us. They naturally blossom through words, music, bodily expression and what we make with our hands. Each of us is imbued with innate intelligence and wisdom and we want to offer it. We want to be seen. If we don’t risk expressing ourselves, something irreplaceable will be missing from the whole.

Martha Graham, the great American choreographer, has been quoted as saying, “There is a great vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time. This expression is unique and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is or how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.”"

Nx

Doubt

 

For faith to be grounded in the reality of our experience, it must also be open enough to include what the Buddhist scholar, writer, and teacher Stephen Batchelor calls “the faith to doubt”. If we use faith to push doubt aside, we construct a defensive wall to keep out any unsettling questions, to keep from having to acknowledge own fears and uncertainties. The inclusiveness of faith lets us be with whatever arises, investigating the very nature of doubt itself and whatever other difficulties arise. By embracing doubt skillfully we strengthen faith.

 

Doubt is the difficult mind state of perplexity. It’s like being at a crossroads and not knowing which way to go. We go back and forth between alternatives and are then brought to a standstill by bewilderment and indecision. When doubt is overpowering, we can’t move. It doesn’t even allow us the opportunity to take a wrong turn and learn from our mistakes. 

 

Almost all spiritual traditions speak of the difficulty of this state and how common it is at different times on our path. Doubt can take many forms. Sometimes it is doubt about ourselves, about our ability to practice and walk the path. It is the voice that says, “I can’t do this. It’s too difficult. Perhaps some other time.” 

 

Doubt is seductive because it come masquerading as wisdom. We hear these wise sounding voices in our minds trying to figure out the dilemmas, difficulties, and paradoxes of our experience through thinking about them. But thinking can take us only so far. It’s like trying to know the experience of music by reading a book about it or the tastes of a good meal by looking at the menu. 

 

We need some other way to understand the nature of doubt, so that we can address its concerns appropriately.

 

The first step is to recognize when the doubting mind is present and, in recognizing this, to become familiar with its various voices. If we become aware of these voices as mental tapes, simply more thoughts in the mind, we’re less likely to become ensnared by their content. In that moment, we cease to give them power; “I can’t do this" becomes just another thought. We can then bring wisdom to bear on the process of doubt itself, noticing how it takes us away from the direct experience of the moment.

 

from One Dharma by Joseph Goldstein

 

 

Meeting yourself.....mindfulness of breath

The patterns of the arising of prana or breath reflects exactly the patterns that arise in the mind.

So when you have a particular story line in your mind....there is a sensation pattern in the breathing that has an exact correspondence to it.

So the basic practice of going back to feeling breath or prana allows you to experience sensations and feelings without the overlay of the story that our brains have stuck on to it long ago.

This allows us to feel free of the theories of self that have been superimposed or stuck on to everything.

 Each of us becomes a school unto ourselves.


Richard Freeman in a dharma talk at Upaya Zen Center.

Never seek love.
Love never hides.

It resides patiently in her heart.
Waiting for her attention.

Nx

Give your thoughts room...

"Your thoughts are just thoughts.
 They are not your life.
They are  your thoughts.

Make a room as big as the sky in your mind.

Your thoughts can be clouds that float through.

Some of your thoughts are clear.

Some of your thoughts are muddy.

An open mind isn't attached to thinking or belief.

Thoughts can be jail.

Watching them coming and going
lets you out to play in the universe.

Please enjoy your thoughts
coming and going.

You will learn this sitting quietly."

 from Buddha in Blue Jeans

The spring rain has turned the bluebells to glass. They tinkle in the morning breeze.
So grateful..... a world of surprise in each drop.

Nx

accept your feelings.....

This is only my first of many posts from Tai Sheridan's book, Buddha in Blue Jeans; An extremely short Zen guide to sitting quietly and being Buddha. Enjoy these wonderful openings. 

Your feelings are your heart
 and gut response to the world.

Everything you feel is okay.

Feelings can be difficult.

Sometimes you can trust them
as honest responses to people and events,
sometimes you can't trust them,
They are reactions to people and events.

Keep sorting this out.

Your feelings will tell you
what you really need.
Learn to be gracious with
your unmet needs.

Kindly ask for what you want.
Respect everyone's right to say
yes or no to your needs.

Give up self centeredness as much
as possible.

Please enjoy your feelings!

You will learn this sitting quietly.

Nx

window box dancers....

Buddha caught in a spring shower..

If you are coming..........

If you are coming to find me
I may be in the dark, damp places,
The earthy spots,
Where clear shinning diamonds of water lay softly
On the cupped forms of arbutus leaves
That crackle under my feet.

It is here that the birds find pure water.

If you are coming to find me,
I may be perched like a seagull
On the top of stones
Surrounded by the pull and push of tides
Wondering the patterns of light
Running across the sandy bottoms.

It is here the birds scream out to sea.

If you are coming to find me,
I may be huddled around a raging fire
Under the open starry sky
Comforted by the dark shadows of
Surrounding trees throwing their heads back
To feel the moon.

It is here that the birds open to the silence of the night.

If you are coming to find me,
I may be in a sheltered place
In green and blue moss,
So moist and cool and soft
That it calls you to lay down your tired body
In its arms so you can rest and breath alittle.

It is here that the birds will sing you to sleep. 

Nx