Love is in the being........

"The center I once glimpsed is all around me,
a landscape I now live in, and I will not
pretend anymore.
If those I love can't recognize me
with my soul out in the open,
I will no longer retreat
and show what is familiar.

You do not have to do anything to be loved, and being who you are does not let others down. This needs to be repeated, and often. Simply be who you are, and love what is before you."

Mark Nepo

through...

I think I have finished processing through, through2, through3. What a journey!

"Through" is a visual story of an obstacle which presented in my life. An obstacle which through me sideways. These drawings are a testament to the impermanence of intense feelings.

"Through" was the first drawing. The first view of the uncomfortable feelings was solid and hard. It was jagged and heavy. I had to imagine my life without this obstacle, simply to start the action of drilling through it, in an effort to transform it into something that was not suffering. The drawing is a witness to my desperate and perseverant attempts. My well conditioned "try harder" strategy is distinctly evident in this image. But I discovered that there was a way through. I think the faith in the belief that this could actually be achieved is really the story of this picture. There is really nothing more to say. I would proceed with the best practice I knew and believe in resolution.

"




"Through2" is really the visualization of this belief. This is how I imagined my path, not without this obstacle, but with the skills and confidence to welcome it onto my path without resistance.

But "Through3" surprised me. I knew it was part of the transition, so I was inclined to let the drawing sit around my art room for a few days. Many others were discarded. A couple of days ago, I noticed that on the far left side of the drawing, there was a valley that looked like the valley in "Through2". I walked directly over and put the bird flying through the valley.

It was immediately clear to me that this dip in the mountain was the vision in "Through2". This small piece of "Through3", was my visualization of my belief that there was a way through. I could not help looking at this small belief in this huge landscape.

I had created a wider view....I was staring back. I was now witnessing my act of faith in the wider view of my life. The thoughts that had made this obstacle so solid and my view so small, had been released by my faith that there was a bigger view. I was whole again.

This morning, I was listening to a tape on forgiveness with the Dalai Lama. Very beautiful! The theme was interdependence. The cause and conditions which define the relationships we have with our internal and external world here on earth. Inspiring really! But I started then to think of "Through", with it's tiny little breathe, and "Though3" with its huge belly breathe; now I can see the bird, in the crack, that is really the valley that runs between two mountains, that is part of a mountain range, that grew on this planet, that is speeding through space.....Now there is a big belly breathe.


Nx

Staring back at thoughts

I have a new book. Awakened Joy by James Baraz has a foreword by Jack Kornfield, and a preface by Ram Dass. This is what caught my attention when I ordered it from the library. I picked it up a few days ago, did not particularly like the graphics on the cover, and left it sitting on my bed table. This morning I decided that I should at least take a look at it before I returned it to the library.
I love this book. It is a book about real human life. I gives no great understandings about how to face the moment of death with calm abiding; no sutras translated by many scholars debating the origins of Tibetan words. Just what to do when you are overwhelmed in the moment; how to be just as you are; how to engage in the joy of loving others; how to have a grateful, and joyful heart. I guess that will due for me, for now. I want to share some of the information in this book with you, and will be writing the sections that grounded me.
In March 2000, the Dalai Lama met with a small group of prominent neuroscientists, psychologists, philosophers, and Buddhist scholars to discuss the origins of negative emotion and the beneficial effects of spiritual practices. In his book, Destructive Emotions, Daniel Goleman narrates the proceedings of this gathering, highlighting significant moments of dialogue. This excerpt is from Matthieu Ricard, who earned a doctorate in genetics in France and later became a Buddhist monk.
"At the beginning when a thought of anger, desire, or jealousy arises, we are not prepared for it. So within seconds, that thought has given rise to a second and a third thought, and soon our mental landscape becomes invaded by thoughts that solidify our anger or jealousy---and then it is too late. Just as the spark of fire has set a whole forest on fire, we are in trouble."
"The basic way to intervene has been called 'staring back' at a thought. When a thought arises, we need to watch it and look back at its source. We need to investigate the nature of that thought that seems so solid. As we stare at it, its apparent solidity will melt away, and that thought will vanish without giving birth to a chain of thoughts. The point is not to try to block the arising thought---this is not possible anyway----but not to let them invade our mind. We need to do this again and again because we are not used to dealing with thoughts in that way.....Finally, a time will come when thoughts come and go like a bird passing through the sky, without leaving a trace".
Staring back, being the witness of the solidifying of the thought, being amazed at how skillful we are at believing it is solid. Then we create a reality from this believed thought. We are all magicians, creating the illusions we call our lives.