This Christmas evening, I am looking for the full moon in every drop of water hanging from the branches of the ancient cedars in the forest in the back of the cabin. I am reminded how effortlessly this spectacle of light and cold water manifest.... quietly waiting for my attention. The image so miraculous and elusive that I am only able to look for a moment. I find myself having to return over and over again.......in the same way that I return to my breath to meet the present moments of my life.
It would seem that I am only able to stay present for this miracle of the moment with a constant effort of faith and attention.
Zen speaks of effort being no effort.
If we could just "settle the self on the self and let the flower of our life force bloom". This quote is from a dharma talk given by Katagiri Sensei in the 60's, although I am sure that it was the theme of many of his teachings. In Zen, there is nothing to gain.We already have everything we need.
This is the faith that meditation cultivates in our life. This is the Zen way.
I am encouraged by the writings of a very experienced Zen teacher, Blanche Hartman in her new book....Seeds for a Boundless Life.
"How do we let the flower of this life force bloom if there is nothing to gain from Zen practice? If this is it, our life as it is, and there is nothing to get and we are complete as we are, where does effort come from if there is no goal? What's the purpose of effort, if there is no goal?
Her sweet and complete answer....... "It comes from the one who requires it."
"It is sort of like..... What is the effort that daffodils make in order to bloom? There they are, bulbs under the ground in the dark. They are doing something, something is happening there under the ground in the dark that results in the bloom that we see when we walk down the path.
What kind of effort is it that we make to allow blooming to be completely itself and with which we meet the world and appreciate this opportunity to be who we are?
The work of the daffodil preparing to bloom is very quiet. It doesn't look outward to see if it's doing it right. It finds this bloom within itself somehow. It comes from the very nature of the bulb, this bloom that we see as beautiful. It's beautiful from the beginning, it's completely there. It just needs conditions around it to help it bloom. But really its all there, its all completely present right in front of you from the beginning.
This is our faith. In faith we can bloom fully in the most appropriate way. We practice this practice."
The daffodil image is one I needed on this dark winter day. I know that soon there will be daffodils to contemplate.........not that I am living in the future .....only this obsessive visiting...............using my effort to constantly return from my mental journeys ...... just this is enough. Right?
I seem to be the one who requires it.
love to you all this Christmas evening
Nx
