Groundlessness

Relationships are hard. They are difficult for everyone. Our relationships are usually well designed stories that have become so solid that they most resemble "illusions". They would probably be called "delusions" except the stories are shared in relationships, and so there is more than one person seeing it. In the moments when the reality doesn't look like the "illusion", there is a very intense feeling of sinking. In those moments, we are desperate to get ground under our feet and this manifests are intense feelings in our bodies....especially our throats....I wonder why the throat....I think that there may be an irresistible need to fix the story.....so obsessive thoughts would also be involved.....and this is where the stories are communicated...this is where the stories turn into sound and enter the external world of form...they become very solid. I don't think they will become as solid as form if they are not validated by someone else. Maybe they feel like a "delusion" rather than an illusion if they are not validated."Am I crazy?" When we put the stories out there, and they become validated they become true. You have just created something from your thoughts that you can stand on, take home with you and call "Yours". A matrix of thoughts designed by you is now "reality". It has become part of your identity or part of the identity of the relationship. What if it isn't validated? What if is not made solid. These moments of "not understood", then become desperate moments. We can't quit telling the story, the thoughts are obsessive until the story is made solid with validation and we can sit and relax on that piece of ground we just made for ourselves......to resolve all those uncomfortable feeling in our bodies. This looks like the need to be "right" but is actually just a desperate attempt not to disappear. I think we need to be comfortable with the uncertainty that relationships present to us. We need to be astonished in every moment that we share. Lean into those moments of groundlessness, when the sensations are strong and fresh and familiar, and be alone with them. Take those moments gently in your arms and explore your body with your breath...These are the broken open opportunities that allow enough space for very deep understanding of yourself.